Outcome 1 (Recursive Process) – Demonstrate the ability to approach writing as a recursive process that requires substantial revision of drafts for content, organization, and clarity (global revision), as well as editing and proofreading (local revision).
Sample One – Thesis Workshop
I mainly used local revision during the first essay prompt, as I was unaware there was a further means of revision that affected more than just sentence structure. Global revision, being a new concept to me, has been remarkably useful in reinforcing the foundations of my claims. As a perfectionist, even during the first draft, I struggled with unloading all of my thoughts and ideas without structure. The revision process allowed me to connect and reword my ideas to become a coherent, working essay and ultimately changed my entire writing process.
During our class time, I participated in a thesis workshop for the second essay related to empathy. In the thesis of my rough draft, I lay out my perspective on this complex cognitive response, as shown below.
Understanding Empathy Rough Draft: Thesis Statement
Where this thesis fails is in clarity; it is relatively unspecific and only generally hints at my ideas. Revision aids with specificity and helps the reader understand my viewpoints. In this case, I use global and local revision by altering the sentence structure by including different terms, meanwhile, detailing my points to discuss later.
Understanding Empathy Final Draft: Thesis Statement
In the final draft, readers are placed in a position to comprehend my statements, giving more precise detail. As a global revision, this thesis is now more suitable to let me expand in my paragraphs.
Samples 2-3 – Barclay Paragraph
Another significant aspect of revision I was able to incorporate is the use of a Barclay paragraph. In the sample we are about to analyze, I would also propose the presence of quote sandwiches is prominent in my second draft but not the first. Below is a paragraph from the first essay where I state my points, but it lacks quotes from the works that could support my claims.
The Extent: Social Media Final Draft: Page Five Paragraph Six
While the paragraph can stand alone, it would be stronger utilizing quotes or paraphrases from the texts. Including textual evidence would put me in direct conversation with the works, displaying my complete understanding of the literature this essay discusses. Below is an excerpt from the third essay about joy. The paragraph is written in the Barclay style, illustrating my growth of understanding of what makes my claims as robust as possible.
Delightful Sorrow Rough Draft: Pages 2-3, Paragraph 3
Over the semester, I was better able to revise my paragraphs to make them more impactful or insightful for the reader. Barclay paragraphs were the best means to modify my work since they let me lay out my ideas alongside the authors’ viewpoints. I primarily revised locally at the beginning of the semester, but this class gave me the tools to realize revision is far more than that. I still locally revise, though it now takes place after I review my global statements.
Word Count: 440
