Before
Social media is a useful tool to students acclimating to college life at UNE. It can serve as an outreach for students who may be struggling academically or socially. Arriving at college can be a stressful time for a majority of students since they do not know anyone and are forced out of their comfort zones daily. It is an intimidating matter of attempting to make new friends and adjust to this new style of living. Social media can greatly help students connect with each other and make plans to meet again, or do something outside of a class in hopes of becoming closer friends. Not only can college be lonely at times, but it can also be incredibly stressful, and students may struggle in their classes. With the use of online platforms, students can reach out to one another or even professors to try and help each other, since realistically nobody wants to fail, so there are always ways to get help using devices.
After
Social media is a valuable tool for students acclimating to college life at UNE. It serves as an outreach for students potentially struggling academically or socially. Arriving at college can be stressful for most students greeted by overly-smiling faces and peppy-faux-personalities on move-in day, then left surrounded by unfamiliar people and forced out of their comfort zones. A strange new place full of various students milling around campus, whizzing by on bikes or skateboards, shouting and running down hallways, or shoving past to get to the most acceptable food in the dining hall becomes incredibly overwhelming rather quickly. It is an intimidating matter of attempting to make new friends and adjust to this unusual style of living. Social media can considerably help students connect and make plans to meet again or do something outside of class in hopes of becoming closer friends. Media platforms are an accessible outreach for many to find clubs and communities to participate in when they have free time. Not only can college be lonely at times, but the workload can become stressful, and students may struggle in their classes. By using online platforms, students can reach out to one another or even professors to try to help and advise each other since, realistically, nobody wants to fail, so there are always ways to get help through the use of devices.
Reason for Revision
Through utilizing revision, my paragraph becomes clearer with its intentions to depict the sometimes scary adjustment college can be. The length of the passage itself did not change much, with the addition of a new sentence or three, all for the sake of specificity. The new sentences are placed purely to relate to any reader who has ever been to college in the age of social media, which is ever-changing. I also returned to some of my previously written sentences to make the text a bit more interesting with the usage of different word choices.
